Hope

When I started thinking about writing a blog it was quickly pushed out of my mind because I had a lot going with being a Mum a Wife a Part Time worker and an all round totally awesome chick...

But with the more blogs I read, the more I wanted to write, to share, to be apart of it all.

I wanted to write about the things that happen here. The crafty things we do, the food we cook, the crazy antics we get up to. 

But it hasn't been like that for me.

Sure we have done some great things dont get me wrong. I keep us busy during the day we do all sort of activities, things that I had learnt while working in and studying the Childcare Industry and things that I have picked up since becoming a Mum and of course the good old Pinterest. 

But things have not been clicking right for me and its been hard.
To put an amount of time on how long its been is to hard because if I had to say from when this all started I would honestly say it has been 18 months.

Yes I have been to the doctor about this.
She kind of made me feel worthless and that what I was going through didn't warrant any support and that the depression that I was going through was normal day to day stuff.
That just didn't feel right.

Especially when she flippantly told me to Google a couple of things.

So I just went on living a weird kind of sad haze, the sad days come and go. Not often or regularly and then a couple of months ago it all changed. 

Things have gotten harder to deal with. Situations are becoming unbearable. Especially group situations. And groups where people with young babies or talking about their pregnancies are horrible.
And I unfortunately avoid them.
Or the Husby comes with me.
There are more sad days then good at the moment and I have forgotten what normal is.
Oh how I wish I could find the old Tara, If I knew who that was.

I have made a new appointment.
With a different Doctor.
Its this week.
Hopefully this will help.

If not... there is always Jack Johnson

x